So, what do humans and the frilled lizard have in common? Sometimes, when we’re afraid, we both puff out our faces and ears and try to act really, really scary. The fear in jealousy is so strong that it can sometimes make us react to situations like a frilled lizard, just to make sure that our partner gets the point that we don’t want them to stray.

And how many times has that ever made your beloved admire you more? Probably not many…

People use the word ‘jealousy’ as a feeling, but Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication would probably say that it’s a thought.

For example, ‘abandoned’ is a thought — it’s your negative evaluation of somebody leaving you. But what if they IRS abandoned you and your audit? Is that necessarily negative? No…. so ‘abandoned’ is an evaluation of, or thought about, somebody leaving you.

In the same way, ‘jealousy’ isn’t really a feeling — it’s a thought. The event may be your beloved paying attention to somebody else in a way that you think means s/he may leave you (or that they love another person more than you). It’s the meaning that we attach to the event that we label ‘jealousy.’

The true feeling underneath jealousy is usually fear–that your beloved will leave you for another person. And fear is usually uncomfortable, if not down right painful. It awakens our limbic brain (the reptilian brain) and puts us in a fight or flight mode. We yell, we threaten, we puff out our ears and try to look real scary and go, Bwah! Bwah!! and generally look real stupid.

So, when you feel triggered by the fear that underlies jealousy, it would help to call it what it is. Call it fear. Say to your partner: Honey,

(Observation) When I saw you talking to your ex this evening…

(Feelings) I felt frightened…

(Needs) Because I have a need for emotional safety.

(Request) Would you be willing to tell me truthfully if you’re falling back in love with her?

Those are the four steps to speaking honestly using Nonviolent Communication. It’s scary to put your heart out to your beloved and expose yourself as being afraid. Most people don’t like to admit they’re scared. But isn’t it a lot better than fighting like a frilled lizard with your lover?

Asking the question in the nonviolent manner doesn’t imply that your lover did anything wrong. You’re taking full responsibility for the feeling of fear, not blaming them for having done anything ‘bad.’

And, of course, this is just one way to ask one little question about your feelings of jealousy, but the issue may be bigger than that. It may be useful to sit and look at where in your life somebody did leave you (or worse, didn’t love you but didn’t leave you, either). Those old wounds may be coming up now for you to look at, but your present lover may not be doing anything out of line.

And always give your inner reptilian brain — your inner frilled lizard that puffs out its cheeks and tries to look scary — a lot of love. You developed that response because at some time you had a beautiful need for safety in a relationship that wasn’t met. Your frilled lizard is just trying to protect you in your current relationship.

Paul & Kristin teach The Relationship Magic Series including ‘The 4 Simple Steps To Heart-Opening- Intimacy and Understanding’ ‘The 5 Relationship-Wrecking Communication Mistakes’ ‘The Seven Secret Keys To Creating a Relationship Oasis’ - To get your own free copy of their special report ‘The 5 Mistakes’ go to .

E! Online - Johnny Depp returned to his musical roots Friday night, reuniting with his old band The Kids for a fund-raiser in Florida.

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The Christian community can be a tight knit support system that’s willing to help one another. Whether you need to provide your Christian employment resume to find a job or are thinking about writing Christian childrens books, you may want to consider making connections through the community.

If you’re seeking a Christian spouse, the best way to find one is through Christian singles dating. Here are some tips to consider before going Christian singles dating.

1. Check your friends. Mutual friends are some of the best ways to meet someone during Christian singles dating. Ask your friends if they have any other Christian singles friends that may compliment your personality. Also, having that connection can help ease up what could be an awkward blind date.

2. Visit Christian singles dating sites. Christian singles dating sites are a great way to browse through numerous potential dates over a short period of time. Just put your profile on a Christian singles dating site and you’re on a good start.

3. Go to Christian single mixers. It’s also refreshing to meet someone face-to-face. This is a great way to meet local Christians.

the Christian rock bands is a band from Greensburg, Pennsylvainia and one of the founding metalcore groups. Founded in 1993 in Parkerburg, West Virgina, Zao the Christian rock bands has hosted several musicians and endured numerous roster changes to the point where no original members remain. Christianity has been a key influence in the band’s work; because the founding members claimed to have a strong relationship with God, this Christian rock bands were considered a devoted Christian band, which changed as time passed. Jesse Smith slowly changed his vision for the band, preferring it to be not a 100% Christian band. As Dan Weyandt entered the band, the lyrics changed drastically, mostly leaving a message that he is alive because of God, not with the intention of spreading the religion, but to let know how it helped him in his personal struggles. Because only half the Christian rock bands band’s members identified themselves as Christians, Zao the Christian rock bands no longer considered itself a Christian band but rather a group of open-minded artists. However in an interview posted on their myspace, their manager pointed out that due to another lineup change they were all Christian. Guitarist Scott Mellinger described the bands view on religion by saying this "We’re not selling Christ. We’re just following Him!" Lyrics in future productions may or may not include Christian messages, but they have also stated they would love to play at Cornerstone again, which is an exclusively Christian music festival.