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One day Sherry said to James, I think our marriage is rather boring. All youdo on weekends is just sit there and watch T.V and that’s it. We seldom go out to dinner. I want our marriage to be more exciting. Sure enough, James got defensive. He told her to do what ever she wants to make her life more exciting, but just leave him alone. Stop bothering him. Sherry thought to herself, ‘I’m only trying to make our marriage livelier; so why is he being so defensive.’ She defended her statements, and so did he. It turned into a big argument. In frustration, Sherry said, I don’t know why you are getting so upset. All I wanted was for us to do something different at least once a month. Maybe go to the movies, or on nature walks, to a museum or a show…..Just do something different! James responded, So why don’t you just say that. I have no problems with that. Sherry was totally surprised and wondered why he had put up such a fight when she approached him initially. The answer is this: Its all in the approach. In the beginning, Sherry thought that she was setting the stage and wanted him to see that she was unhappy. But instead, she was actually condemning him for being truly ‘comfortable in his space.’ She was also telling James that he was disappointing her. On the other hand, when she asked for what she wanted with out complaining, she got it. Sherry learned to be clear and concise about her desires, be action oriented with her approach and to be cognizant of her timing. If her spouse is in a bad mood, or had a bad day, she would not approach him about making changes. Sherry told me that she learned about these strategies from reading ‘The 5 stages of a marriage.’ Find out which stage your marriage is in, by typing your first name and e-mail address in the top right hand side of the page, then click ‘Yes, sign me up.’ While all this may be good information, giving insight on why you feel the way you do; it does not necessarily bring about change. You may tell your spouse that the issues you are experiencing are due to how you were raised, or some other situation in your past. This can lead to one of three different So what can you do about this? Instead of putting emphasis on how the problem came about, focus on creating a solution; like Susan and Jim did. Susan and Jim argued about finances for years. She felt as if he spent money too freely, with out giving thought of tomorrow or planning for their retirement; like his father did. Jim felt like Susan was acting like a mother telling him what to do. One month, with a little coaching, Jim decided to pay the household bills. When he realized how much money was being spent, he was shocked. They talked about the balance of the funds that was left over after bills were paid, and decided to put it in separate accounts, setting aside some money for retirement and some for having fun. They were both pleased with the outcome. Instead of focusing on the root of the problem of Jim being a loose spender, which he got from his dad, and Susan being motherly, they came to a solution which satisfied both parties. Best Related PostApproaching Your Spouse by admin0 on July 30th, 2008 The Midlife Crisis by admin0 on May 28th, 2008 Our Marriage Would Be Better if My Spouse Would Change! by admin0 on June 8th, 2008
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one’s who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason.. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you can’t get them back. This message was sent from a friend and really blessed my day.
‘Way of the light’ hard, says born again Christian who ran short-time hotels. From Andrew Drummond, Manila, Monday July 29 08 - The owner of a chain of love motels in the Philippines has shut them down for the ‘glory of god’ and to stop earning cash from the devil. The owner is a born again Christian. But as his conversion took place in 1992 it appears it took a little while for the ‘Word of God’ to sink in. Wyden King, 54, was earning the equivalent of £30,000 a day for renting out short time rooms in 14 hotels in the Anito hotel chain in Manila. He once boasted that each night some 11,000 Filipinos – and foreign tourists – engaged in trysts in his rooms. The last branch in Caloocan, Manila was closed last week. A sign outside read ‘Anito Hotel – closed for the glory of God’. However his new hotels branded ‘Status Married Couples Place’ do not appear to have been blessed with success. One of his managers says it would take a miracle to turn a profit. Business is dire, perhaps because couples are now photographed on arrival. The curtains were drawn on illicit sex in a religious ceremony at the Anito Hotel, Coolacan last week, attended by family, friends, and apparently a few former patrons. Holy water was sprinkled on beds to ‘exorcise the devil’s presence. Said Mr. King: The beds are altars to the demons. We have to destroy these altars of wickedness. We are redeeming this place from the gates of hell. I also destroy my covenant with the devil. Mr. King, 54, actually kept cashing in for a further 16 years after first seeing the light. The way of the light was a difficult path follow, he said. King, who admitted paying bribes to Philippines officials explained: It took a long time to obey God. This was a fulfilment which was not easy. But God’s grace sustained me. I knew I had to obey him. I was blinded by the money but it took the Lord to open my eyes. He found me but it was a struggle to let go. He denied he had closed the business because of the worldwide recession and falling revenues. The ways of the Lord are very strange and we can’t fully comprehend them, he said. Meanwhile at the ‘Status Married Couples Place’, formerly Anito Motel, in Pasay City, the manager Bing de Ocampo admitted that his hotel was now barely occupied.
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