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Time for a quick update… Through the past 10 days or so, I’ve remarked several times that the tide had turned in my thinking. This has been true every time I’ve said it, but I keep bringing it back up because at each turn, I feel like it’s grown MORE true. Momentum is a crazy thing. Now that I have some, I almost can’t remember why I couldn’t get myself in hand long ago. It wasn’t for lack of desire, that’s for sure! I’ve made several attempts to change my eating habits over the past several years, since my last successful attempt on the Jenny Craig plan back in approximately 2003. Back in 2003, after having an on-again, off-again relationship with JC until finally petering out, I weighed somewhere in the 160s. This isn’t my “perfectly slim” weight (that’d be 150), but it was a decent weight for me. We took a cruise, and in the videos of me in my swimsuit, I don’t look too bad. I was also comfortable wearing skirts that hit above my knees. But gradually, the weight crept back on. I can remember a few years ago growing very alarmed when the number on the scale hit the mid-170s. I went on the Atkins plan and stuck to it religiously for a month. I’m telling you, I don’t know why, but that plan did NOTHING for me, and I even exercised faithfully throughout, jogging at least two miles almost every day. I think, after one month, I’d lost maybe four pounds, and I just felt weird. I can’t explain it, but I was having issues sleeping, and I constantly craved bread and all the other things I couldn’t have. I know the Atkins plan has worked for many people - my husband lost 35 pounds on it and felt great - but for my body chemistry, it did nothing. Over the past three years or so, after that Atkins attempt, I’ve watched with alarm as my weight crept higher and higher. Periodically, I’d be overcome with disgust over how I had “outgrown” various clothing items, like my favorite slim-fitting capris from three summers ago. (I noticed, to my horror, that the side zipper kept coming unzipped, and that I couldn’t seem to pull them all the way up, as they were getting stuck on my fat thighs!) Or, I’d go to a meeting at my kids’ school and be envious of the slim, stylish moms and also intimidated by them. So I’d get motivated and try to do something about my weight, but it seemed like always, after one or two days of thinking about it, I’d hit a wall and cave in to Crazed Addict Fatgirl. Or, I could never quite get all the componants together for successful weight loss. For instance, I’d have no trouble exercising, but then I’d throw it all away and wolf down a huge dinner. So I’ve been trying to figure out why this time has been different. Why have I been able to gain momentum? Part of it, I honestly think, has to do with this blog. Although I don’t get more than 25 or 30 hits per day, there’s that knowledge that a couple dozen anonymous strangers have been reading my words. Especially during the first day or two, I thought of how foolish I’d feel to have to delete the blog and admit that I couldn’t keep to what I’d promised myself. Plus, seeing the words in black and white - seeing a stark record of what I was admitting that I wanted, which was to slim down and be fit again and be able to wear nice clothes again and feel like a “normal-sized” person again - was sobering. Crazed Addict Fatgirl somehow could not quite overcome the existence of this website. Even when she yelled loudly at me that it didn’t matter and I could just cave and eat what I wanted, I had to admit to her that I’d published my desires in a way where all the world could see. And then…well, then, there’s just momentum. After the first few days, I felt a lot better, and I could tell that I’d lost a little. This motivated me to stick with it. When I’d gotten through a week, I realized that it simply was not that hard. I could do it. And now, it’s been two weeks. I’ve lost 6.5 pounds, and I’m not going to quit. I’m getting into that mindset where I do not want to cheat. I want to choose healthy foods and get my fruits and vegetables in. Actually, when I eat all my fruits and veggies, I’m honestly not that hungry for anything else, as evidenced by the party yesterday. I’d had a big plate of cauliflower and carrots before we left, and I was able to just nibble a couple of crackers instead of going crazy over stuffed mushrooms, artichoke dip, and all the other really fattening, tempting things they served as appetizers. Finally, if I could give one word of advice to someone pondering making yet another commitment and wondering if you can stick with it - MAKE A PLAN. And commit to sticking to it for at least a few days. This is the magic of plans like Jenny Craig. The menus are all pre-printed, the food’s in your freezer and pantry, and it just gives you this sense of security that all the decisions have been removed for you, at least at the beginning. I did this for the first several days of this dieting attempt, and wow, it was incredibly helpful. I had several Lean Cuisine entrees in the freezer, and I had my fruits and veggies and lunch items, and I knew what I was going to have when. I’d also say, plan three meals and two snacks. Eat at least two different fruits and two different veggies each day (make one veggie a high vitamin A veggie, like carrots or broccoli). Get your calcium, through nonfat milk and nonfat low-sugar yogurt. Yogurt, actually, is another thing that I think does something to your digestive system which takes away your appetite. At least, it works for me. Choose foods high in fiber, too. Those dried soups from Safeway’s “Eating Right” brand are amazing. They contain something like 12 grams of fiber per serving. After a cup of the black bean soup, at 180 calories, 12 grams of protein, and 12 grams of fiber, I seriously won’t be hungry till dinner. Those are some tricks that I’ve learned. Make a commitment, make a plan, and make yourself accountable to someone. If you’re reading this, thank you! Because you’re MY “someone” today.
TO ALL; I am going to take a little side trip with all of you and ask that you consider what I say for just a short while, before you dismiss it. OR accept that it has some truth to offer. We are body, mind and spirit most accept this as a description of humanity. Body; well, this has to be accepted. Mind; that which is capable of learning, forming opinions and capable of judgement. The ability to reason cause and effect and the probable outcomes of certain stimuli to the environment or our actions within it. I do not mean in a macro sense, but in the direct application of reason, ergo, I throw a ball at this window the probable cause of the effect of it’s breakage. Just for now accept this reasoning. Spirit; that which animates us or directs us in all of our human pursuits. The secularists will state that there is no such thing. But your fellow scientists have had to coin the term , ego, id and superego, or sub-conscience conscience and superconscience to co-relate and reconcile the obvious three levels of conduct and their manifestation in each of us. With out this concept, of three levels of conscience, there is no making sense of any human action, for a host of reasons. I would ask that you simply follow along here for a moment if you have no psycological training, the rest of you will agree. None of us at any given moment is really, truly, aware of just what we’re doing until we analyse the conduct of all three of the elements of Psychy, and how a given action reached it’s conclusion or indeed, what caused us to act in just this way. ALL human actions are governed by this analytical process to determine what the frack are we doing! And, moreover why!! With these elements in place for this discussion let us now proceed. We are created by whatever process you choose to use as the mechanism that is a fact SOMETHING caused us,there again we will make an assumption for this discussion. That something is “the Creator” ( call him/her/it, what you will for your own purposes.) If we change the word spirit for soul we can then make another adjustment in our thinking, a soul is something with a life of it’s own in most theologies isn’t it. Now, to the meat of it. Posit; Soul, on a journey of learning who and what it is, created at the instant of creation by the creater as part of Him/Her/It’s self to populate the cosmos with life in all it’s many forms. It makes choices for the purpose of learning what and who it is to better itself and become one again with God/Creator. It knows what it wants, on a concious level we do not. We have “chosen” to forget this aspect of our makeup and there is a reason for this, which I will get into later. It is this that causes us to attempt to “raise our consciousness” to the level at which we begin to see who we are, is this phrase familiar to you? Now let’s shake the cart up real good! There is NO original sin I posted the other day this has been accepted by the Catholic church and the Methodist as long ago as 225 years ago and more for John Wesley and the Catholics as recently as 1965 at Vatican two. Why haven’t any of your churchmen or women for that matter told you this???? Simple they cannot control you with the concept that YOU can have unique and special, PERSONAL relationship with God, all by your self!! YOU DO NOT NEED US!!! Now I need to get ready for my church services, more later, cogitate on this for awhile I’ll be back later. BE WELL HI ! I’M BACK!! I figured I’d better be! To continue I am not disparaging the “church” it is a good institution and accomplishes much that is good, and even great, about humanity. When examined closely however it has one common is run by human beings and as such is subject to certain common failures. This is not to disparage as I said simply to explain that is not my purpose. A.K. popped in to say hi and you can read what he said yourself hence this caveat. Let me state here and now, NO-ONE is more sure of the existence of God than me, NO-ONE!! I have had many “God moments” in my life and, it was not till the age of 37 that I began to closly examine them and become aware of what they truly were. And A.K. you’re right, there are those who will wish me dead, but I cannot sit on this any longer. Now all of your life you have been told you are the children of God, is this not right? I would pose the question; why is that so hard to believe? Answer; because the God you have tried to understand is not possible to understand!! At least, as it has been explained to you. Let me digress again….you have read my postings for over a year and a half now and never seen me disparage anyone’s religion or belief system or lack of a belief system and there is a reason for that….I don’t have that right!! Each is on a path, but not as commonly thought. It is uniquely your own path and NONE but you will walk it…….That is THE PLAN!!! The soul of each of us KNOWS what it is!! It knows what it wants and, what it wants is this….To be again with God………You read that correctly…….you ARE a literal CHILD OF GOD!! Now niether you or I can change that, it simply IS. Taken a little further then, how can there be atheists? A soul can not KNOW what it is until it knows, what it isn’t. Consider……for every in, there is an out….for every up, there is a down…..for every is, there is an, is not…..for every here, is a there and what is in between. do you get it yet? We are here to experience, for it is only by experience that we learn who we are and who we are not….it is only by experience that we learn WHAT we are or are not. It is this experience of being by which God is enriched, as are we, it is the way to God and, guess what, there is no pass/fail. How can there be, remember what Christ SAID when asked where is Heaven. His answer?? IT IS WITHIN YOU Have you ever once truly considered what that means???!!!??? What it means is this, you know who you are, you are part of God and He is part of you!!! EVERYTHING you need to find God, you already have, every thing you need to be with God you already have, in fact, THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN BE WITHOUT GOD……Except one…..you choose to be. You have seen me write about free will many times and argued with me about it but God knows you and WILL NOT interfere with your choices to Him there is no good or bad there simply exists the is..is not. Something is either you, or it is not!! if you choose wrong(there is no wrong) choose again, remember you are building yourself, you are choosing that statement of who, and what, you ARE!! No-one else can. Choose WISELY and if you make a mistake, remember God will forgive, He is infinite love, is indeed, love itself!! It must be remembered I am not saying stop going to church I am saying be AWARE believe what He told you, what Jesus told you they do not lie!! Every master who ever walked the earth has given us the same message consider it. There is a tremendous amount of stuff here to consider, I will discuss as you question and remember also, I can not tell you what to do, only you, can Decide what is right for you. Also consider, you are not being told to cast off the teaching of your faiths, just to consider what makes sense in the context I have, and will continue, to out line. We have the Bible but there is much to learn from, and OF, it that you may not have been taught. Be well all and I know you ALL go with God….Tawodi
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